Grieving my Grandma on The World Race

Grandma, 

Your name-

Mary. It should just be spelled “Merry” because that is who you are. 

Wife. You loved and served my Grandpa for almost 60 years. 

Mother. Three children were privileged to call you this name. 

Grandma. You were the textbook definition of the perfect grandma. 

I wish I knew how much I would miss calling you grandma.   

Your presence-

You’re there. You’re here. You’re everywhere. 

In the trees. In the flowers. In the birds. 

In my eyes. In my love for nature. In my humming. 

In an ice cold Dr. Pepper. In a Little Caesar’s pizza. In a good crispy salad. 

I wish I knew how much I would miss being in your presence.  

 

Your eyes-

Just like mine.

Green. Soft. Warm. Bright. 

I wish I knew how much I would miss seeing your eyes.

Your hands-

Giving

They wrapped countless Christmas presents. 

Serving 

They cooked delicious Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas meals.

Selfless

They endlessly served, took care of, and loved Grandpa. 

Warm

They were always there to hug me when I walked through the door. 

Soft

Held in mine as I said goodbye. 

Worn

I wish I knew how much I would miss holding your hands.  

Your hair-

Long

Soft

Wavy

Beautiful 

Your crown

I wish I knew how much I would miss brushing your hair. 

Your voice-

Forever the name “Powders” will ring from the walls of your home. 

Oh to hear you say Powders one more time. Always one more time. 

Oh to hear you whistle and sing one more time. Always one more time. 

Oh to hear you talk about something, anything, one more time. Always one more time. 

I wish I knew how much I would miss listening to every note your voice made. 

Thank you! 

Thank you for showing me how to love nature. 

Thank you for showing me how to appreciate beautiful things. 

Thank you for showing me how to work hard.

Thank you for showing me how to delight in the little joys of life. 

I wish I knew just how much I have to be thankful for because of you.  

Oh Grandma.  

Your last days-

Why did they go so fast? 

Though you may not remember them, I will never forget them. 

I spoon fed you your last meal. 

I stroked your beautiful, soft hair like I used to do as a child. 

I held your hand. 

I did the talking for you when you weren’t able to. 

I played with the sleeve of your white T-shirt as I said goodbye. 

I didn’t know if the next time I saw you would be on this earth or in heaven. 

And I’m ok with that.

I knew you couldn’t wait another day to use your new voice to sing to the King of Kings and start talking His ears off. 

And I’m ok my last memory of you is laying in peace, no pain, only patiently waiting for the hour to be called to your new forever home. 

I know your mansion is filled with plants, trees, flowers, fish, dishes, pillows, blankets and all things beautiful. 

I wish I knew how much your last days would forever change my life. 

You’re gone-

I was in shock. 

I was ready, yet completely not.

I thought I was prepared but I wasn’t.  

I didn’t know how I should feel after you left. 

I tried not to feel anything at first. 

I tried not to let it break me. 

But I couldn’t. 

I broke every time I heard a bird. 

I broke every time I saw a pretty flower. 

I broke every time I saw a special rock. 

But now I welcome the brokenness.

It’s a testimony to how much you have shaped my life and made me who I am today.

I wish I knew how much I would miss you being gone.   

Goodbye-

Although you are gone, I take you wherever I go.
I see you in me. 

You always will be. 

I see you everywhere.
Your legacy will always live on through me. 

I wish I knew how hard it would be to say goodbye. 

Wait for me-

I’m coming Grandma. 

Wait for me in your soft, beautiful earth made bed. 

I’ll be there in a few months to sit on the bench next to your new resting place and tell you of all my adventures on this World Race. 

I’ll be there one day to introduce you to the man God has brought into my life to marry. 

I’ll be there one day with my children to tell them stories of the greatest grandma that ever lived. 

I’ll be there one day with my grandkids to tell them how I learned to be such a good grandma because I had the best grandma. 

I wish I knew how hard it would be to loose my best friend.  

Forever Your Granddaughter After Your Own Heart,

Powders