Miracle or Anchor?

I love Christmas! If it’s Christmas-y, I’m in. Lights, music, trees, decorations, movies (especially Hallmark, hahaha), working puzzles, fires at night, Christmas performances/shows/plays/concerts, the special foods/desserts, the traditions, all the family together, gift giving, etc.

But none of those things were present on the first Christmas.

The build up to the birth of the Savior was not filled with good food, a warm house, presents, singing carols, family all gathered, etc. Rather is was quite the opposite. In the dark, in the doubt, in the hunger, in the cold, in the dirt, in the loneliness, in the pain…BEHOLD a Baby King was born.

As I think about some of the details surrounding the Christmas story, it doesn’t make a lot of sense to my human brain. I never would have expected a story that started with a pregnant, virgin teenage girl, would end with the beginning of a baby who had come to change the world. I think what it would have been like to be Mary who was on the cusp of getting married and starting a new wonderful season of life, then to find out she is pregnant…with the Savior. This, undoubtedly, was not in her plan. She unjustly received shame and public embarrassment by family and friends. In one of my favorite Christmas songs this year there is a line that says “should a miracle feel like an anchor” referring to what Mary may have been thinking or feeling during the pregnancy. I think this is often times how we see God’s working and moving in our lives. Instead of seeing and accepting it as the miracle that it is, we view it as an anchor unjustly weighing us down in life in the “good things” we are trying to do. But God doesn’t want us to just be doing good things. There are times when He wants to give us a gift and for us to simply receive it. We may not understand the value, timing, usefulness, or purpose of the gift at first but in time, as we grow in faith and trust, it will all be made clear.

In a small way I feel like God has given me this gift of squad leading again and I don’t understand the timing or purpose of it. Just when I thought God was directing my life down one path, He is steering me down a new one. I was in my pursuit of “good things” when He offered the gift of “a better thing”, and even though at first it felt like an anchor in my heart, the light is now beginning to break through the clouds. I wrestled through the fog of confusion and lies that their author (the enemy) tried to entangle me in. Everything is still not super clear to me and I must confess there are times when I fail to see the hand of God orchestrating events in my life to create a symphony of worship and glory to the King of Kings. The puzzle pieces of my life don’t seem to be fitting together to create a beautiful picture. I can’t seem to get them to go together like I want to. And that’s the point. He is the Designer, not me. He is the Potter, I am the clay. He is fashioning me into a unique piece of art in His own way.

Have you ever prayed for something and when the Lord answered, you don’t like the answer because it wasn’t how you expected? I’ve prayed for a unique life and He’s given it to me (above and beyond what I asked for). It has looked nothing like I expected a unique life to me would look like. At times my flesh starts to wrestle my spirit with its desire to live a “normal life” (whatever that is) or at least be doing what others my age are doing: buying a home, getting married, raising a family, settling down in one place, etc. And none of those things are bad. I eventually want all of those things to come to pass in my life, but for now God is asking me to press pause on those desires and pursue the unique doors He has opened for me. Whether this door stays open for four months or four more years, only God knows. At least I know the next four months, Lord willing, I’ll be in Eswatini and South Africa leading a group of 20 young adults with Adventures in Missions. Along with my two co-squad leaders, we will be setting the culture of the squad, cultivating a space for spiritual growth, serving alongside the team with the ministries, mentoring, and handling logistical and financial responsibilities while on the field. Once I know more details of the ministries we will be partnering with, I will share that information. I bought my ticket for January 3rd to fly to Gainsville, Georgia where I will start training before heading to Eswatini near the end of January.

If you would like to partner with me financially in being a part of what God is doing around the world, click the white SUPPORT word at the top of this page which will take you to a new page titled the Giving and Donations page, type in my name in the ‘search participants’ box and click the “VIEW SUPPORT PAGE” below my name. (All gifts given online are tax deductible.) I need to raise $3,000 to cover my travel, food, lodging, insurance and other expenses while on the field. I also need faithful prayer partners! There is always great spiritual attack when a group of believers go out in Jesus name to proclaim the Good News. We have the one weapon we need to fight against those attacks and be victorious. Prayer! Pray for me and my co-leaders specifically for wisdom, discernment, humility, unity and love. Pray for health throughout the four months on the field. Pray for the squad that they would have soft hearts, hunger for the Lord, joy in the struggle, unity and deep love.

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