Strangled or Stirred?

Stirred. I think that’s the word I would use to describe training camp. Although at times I felt like I was being strangled by different things. The first three days of camp I was in shock, trying to separate my life with my girls at Heartlight and step into my new World Race community. It was a mental battle. I felt like I was living two completely different lives. As the days continued to pass and I met the rest of my squad, stepped into my leadership role, and allowed myself to sit in what the Lord wanted to show me, He slowly began to stir me. Smoothing out lumps of doubt, anxiety, grief, worry, insufficiencies, pride, and self-worth. There are still a few lingering lumps that need to be smoothed out but the batter is almost ready to be poured into the pan for baking.

One of my hesitations in saying yes to leading this World Race squad in January was feeling like I needed to take a season of rest after my year at Heartlight. Want to know what word the Lord gave me during training camp?

YIELD! 

This word has many meanings but I think all are applicable to what the Lord has for me in this next season. Meanings include 

pause

slow down

giving up/handing over

the amount of a return crop. 

Other words and themes the Lord showed me were 

be and stop doing

spirit of childlikeness 

abundant life

freedom 

the amount of God’s love for me

intimacy with the Holy Spirit. 

Very different than what the Lord taught me and walked through with me on my first Race but I can’t wait to see how each of these new themes are interwoven into my second Race. 

Going into this training camp, compared to my first one, was night and day. My first training camp wrecked me and I constantly felt like I was drinking from a fire hose. This time it felt more like I was on an island by myself and nearing the end of the week I had been rescued and brought back home. I did things I’ve never done before. I gave words to my squad mates that I felt the Lord asking me to give them. I was vulnerable with my leadership team and my squad mates about things I was struggling with. I wept and bowed before my Father. I danced in His goodness. I asked for things from my Father that I never have before and even for things that scared me a little. Oh well. What’s life with the reckless love of the King of Kings without asking for some wild things every once in a while? 

Nearing the end of camp I was very concerned about returning to Heartlight. I had a lot of anxiety and worry. After experiencing the sweetness of community living once again after a very dry season, I struggled imagining how I was going to transition back into my closing season at Heartlight. I let myself grieve the transition knowing that once I got back to my girls I would be okay. I had missed them greatly during training camp and I want to cherish the last few weeks I have with them before my year is up. Technically my year is not up until January 4th, but I have to be back in Georgia on the 3rd for launch. This was yet another kink I was praying for the Lord’s favor in. When I got back to Heartlight and talked to my boss, he was so gracious to work with my schedule and allow me to naturally transition home when my girls will all be leaving for their Christmas breaks around December 17th which is even earlier than I was expecting! That will give me a few more days to be with family over the holidays before I leave for the next five months. The Lord is so good! 

The race is on. Time has been flying by. Trying to enjoy every day with my girls and house staff before it comes to an end all too soon. So many things you can be joining me in prayer for. Specific people you can be praying for are my squad, my alumni squad co leaders, my house staff at Heartlight, my girls, and me. If you have any questions or want to know any more specifics about anything, comment below! 

Much to do and prepare for before launch, but the Lord is already on the move. I haven’t even let people know about my fundraising goal and He has been so good to me and already laid on someone’s heart to give so generously towards my trip. I’m truly overwhelmed. If you would like to financially support my trip, you can do so online through my blog or you can mail your tax deductible contribution to:

Adventures in Missions

PO Box 742570

Atlanta, GA 30374-2570

I need to raise $5,000 before I launch in January. I can’t wait to start this adventure with all of you! I may be the one with my feet on the ground in other countries but by your prayers and financial support you are right there with me being a part of what God’s already doing and will do each day I am there obeying His leading. The body of Christ is so powerful! 

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