Don’t Freak Out!!!

I’ve been telling myself that a lot lately. Don’t freak out! And yet I feel like I should start getting use to it because I’m going to be saying it a lot over the next 13 months. I’m about to jump into something that I’m so excited about and yet know very little of what it’s going to be like. I’m about to meet for the first time the people that I’m going to live with for 11 months. I’m about to learn what it’s like to live out of a backpack. I’m about to be in some very awkward situations where I won’t know how to act or what to say. I’m about to learn how to set up and take down my tent, take bucket showers, and live in close community with very little alone time. I’m about to be spiritually stretched and physically challenged. So many unknowns. So many new experiences to come. So many challenges yet to arise. I like routine and knowing what is coming. I like making plans and sticking to them. The only time I stray from that is usually when I’m on a week or two long mission trip. I’m about to go on an 11 month “mission trip”. I pray I can sustain my easy going, adventuresome spirit the whole way. 

Today I did something that I’ve been putting off for about a month. Cutting my hair. It had gotten sooooo long but I don’t usually wear it down because I would braid it or twist it into a bun or throw it up in a ponytail so I hadn’t really noticed how long it had gotten. But thinking about trying to keep it all clean, presentable and lice free over the next year began to seem a little overwhelming. So I went and had it cut. I told the hair dresser I was cutting it all off. When she tied off the bottom of my hair and cut a good 8 inches or more off, I got this sickening feeling of “what have I just done” in my stomach. I immediately began to regret my decision and wished I hadn’t told her to cut it that short. But then as she washed it and began to layer it and style it I started to relax and began getting use to the new me. Big changes take me awhile to gulp down. I have to adjust, process and think about it awhile and then after time (and that could be an hour and a half like in this case or 3 months) I begin to accept it and it becomes my new normal. Looking back I know I was being a little dramatic. I just kept telling myself it will grow back, it will be fine, it’s just hair, it could be worse. 

I tell you that silly, personal story to ask you to be praying for me as I know so many of you already are. Pray that when I have moments where I’m telling myself “don’t freak out” that I would turn to Christ and seek him as my deliverer. That I would trust him in those “freak out moments” that he providentially puts me in to use me in a way that would bring glory and honor and praise to his name. That my response would not be one out of panic made by the flesh, but one of peace and joy from the Spirit. Thank you for your prayers!

God is good!

A before and after picture so you can judge and see if I was overreacting or not. Hahaha!